


Weapons

by Teland



Series: Other Paths [8]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: 1998, Angst, It took some time to figure out how to stop writing motherfucking love triangles, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-09-18
Updated: 1998-09-18
Packaged: 2020-11-27 13:09:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20948858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teland/pseuds/Teland
Summary: Decisions





	Weapons

Walter Skinner walked into his apartment and couldn't keep   
from smiling. Even without the more obvious signs -- boots   
by the door, leather tossed in an oddly *deliberate*   
fashion on the couch -- he could always tell when Alex was   
home. The place had a fullness, even when the other man   
was just lazing neatly and quietly in some corner of his   
bedroom. 

Which he wasn't. Walter took a moment to listen, and heard   
a series of soft, economical grunts coming from the small   
gym he'd installed in the spare bedroom. He cocked an   
eyebrow and walked in. Alex was kicking the hell out of   
his punching bag. He hadn't bothered to change out of his   
regular clothes and his shirt was clinging to his back.   
The jeans had torn. 

It was clear Alex had been here for a while. Another flurry   
of kicks. He knew that Alex knew he was there, but he   
didn't turn. Walter was just about to settle himself in to   
wait when Alex started punching. He hadn't taped his   
knuckles and by the fifth... Walter caught the arm, felt   
muscles twitch like snakes for a moment before the younger   
man subsided.

"Talk to me."

Tight shake of the damply dark head and Alex was leaning   
into the bag, breathing hard. A few drops of sweat hit the   
hardwood floor.

"Alex--"

"Do you really want to know?" He turned then and Walter   
took in the heavy flush, the overbright eyes, the set of   
the fine mouth. He ran his thumb over Alex's wrist and the   
other man shivered. "Do you?"

Walter thought about the question as his hand roamed up   
the tensed arm; the skin damp and sticky even through the   
shirt. Alex looked at him evenly, but it was a deceptive   
blankness. There *had* been other times when he'd found   
Alex here, working off the aggression of a bad day while   
honing the machine to higher and higher levels of   
lethality. The mindset was more than familiar. 

This wasn't the same. Alex would simply have said "Don't   
ask" if it was. Walter settled his palm on the nape. "Yeah,   
I want to know."

Alex turned away again, but shifted to give Walter better   
access to his neck and shoulders. "Mulder wants me back."   
Spoken into the bag, uneven and with an edge of black   
humor.

Walter felt something clench...

//Don't leave me.//

... but settled for pressing his fingers a little harder   
into Alex's skin. "Of course he does."

The brow furrowed and Alex moved a little against the bag.   
Rough whisper of canvas on flesh. "What do you mean by   
that?"

"I mean that if he *hadn't* tried to get you back at some   
point I would've had to consider committing him for real." 

Alex snorted at that, but it was muted. "Walter..."

//Don't leave me.//

"What did he say?"

"That he was sorry, that I was right, that he... that he   
needed me. And then he kissed me, and I let him."

//Don't leave me.//

Walter let his hand wander into the spiky hair, tried to   
tug Alex into facing him. "What else?"

"That it was empty without me.... I told him I loved   
you..." The words should've been a redundancy; Alex had   
said it in a dozen different ways in the past weeks, but   
there was thickness in Walter's throat. 

//Don't leave me.//

"...that I didn't want to... want to fuck anything else   
up." Alex looked at him, finally, and his eyes were much   
too open for this. Too early in the day, too much distance   
between them.... Walter pulled Alex close. "I didn't,   
right?" Muttered into his throat and Walter pushed him off   
again, took in the flash of fear and anger with a pang and   
crushed Alex's mouth with his own.

It tasted like tears, and the unspoken "Because it feels   
like I did" was louder in his ears than the pounding of   
his pulse. Walter poured every command, wish, and plea he   
had into the kiss and was terrifyingly positive Alex heard   
them all. But there was a shaky arm around his neck and a   
tongue in his mouth and a lean body sweaty and solid   
against him and there was no chance of thinking this   
through.

Alex broke off for air, nuzzled him restlessly. "It wasn't   
supposed to be like this, Walter. Shit, I'm such an idiot--  
"

"Shh... You're not, don't do this--" "I'm not cut out for   
this... this... this isn't who I'm supposed to be. I only   
wanted--"

Walter kissed him again, plunging in and lapping, trying to   
take away air if he couldn't take reason and thought. When   
he had to break the kiss to breathe himself Alex smiled at   
him sadly, tightened the arm around his back.

"He's not like us, Walter. He can't... he doesn't know..."   
Alex trailed off with a frown and the older man resisted   
the urge to kiss him again. Weapons lose their power when   
the targets know them well enough.

"You can't take responsibility for his pain, Alex.

//Don't leave me.//

"He had these... these problems long before you came into   
his life..." It was pointless to try to assuage the guilt,   
they both knew it was only a mask for a darker truth. Alex   
bit at Walter's jaw, laid a kiss against the small hurt   
before working his way to the older man's ear.

"Just... just make me forget." Hoarse pleading in   
desperately quiet whisper and all Walter could do was nod   
and let himself be led from the gym and into the darkened   
bedroom. 

He reached for the light-switch and Alex caught his hand,   
brought it to his crotch instead. Heat and hardness and   
Walter growled his understanding into Alex's throat and   
spun him around to face the wall. Shifted position to get   
a better grip on the other man's erection and placed a kiss   
on the salt-sweaty nape.

//I'll give you this, and anything else...//

A few moments to knead at the heat through denim and then   
Walter was working the jeans off down legs sweaty and much   
too warm. Feverish with all the anger and confusion. Walter   
lapped at the hollow of a knee and Alex trembled.

"Don't, I need you *now*, Walter... don't tease."

It was a new pain to lose this permission to linger, but as   
Walter stood to retrieve the condoms and slick he had the   
distinct impression it was one he'd have to grow accustomed   
to. 

Alex hissed at the chill of the gel. Walter used the   
opportunity to pull him tighter, to whisper low and   
careful inanities as he slipped his finger inside. Much   
slower than was strictly necessary. Alex bucked sharply   
against him and Walter groaned.

"Easy... I'm getting there."

"Please..."

But Walter couldn't force himself to move any faster,   
needing the tightness on his fingers as much as anything   
else, the feel of Alex's body working desperately against   
his own. He raked his knuckles over the gland and Alex's   
moan made him reach up to tilt the dark head awkwardly for   
a kiss of needs.

"Now, Walter..." And it wasn't dark enough for him to miss   
the gleam on the surface of the wide eyes, the bleak   
beneath. Alex turned, spread, braced himself against the   
wall and Walter obeyed. Fitting up and slipping in, too   
fast for the soul, too slow for the flesh and when he was   
all the way in, balls flush and tightening, he steadied   
himself against the wall with one hand and wrapped the   
other around Alex. Just one more moment to hold and hold   
closer and he let his hips take over, let his face fall   
into the hollow of neck and shoulder, let everything he   
wanted to say be drowned in his own shallow grunts and the   
sobs of his lover.

After, there were a few sleepy nuzzles in the shadows, on   
the bed.

And when Walter woke up alone he wasn't at all surprised.

******

Alex stood outside the apartment, one last time. His own   
scent was wrong to him -- he had stopped at one of the   
hidey holes to shower and change and there was nothing of   
Walter about him but an ache in his soul. Just another   
wrong, and there was no way he could tell himself this was   
right enough to make up for it. There was no rational tally   
he could hold his life up to anymore and his instincts felt   
miswired.

But he was here, now. Quiet knock and just enough time to   
feel himself split a little farther apart before the door   
opened on a rumpled, grainy Mulder. Hazy around the edges   
and raw in the eyes. Long moment to stare, savor the   
bitterness of certain inevitabilities.

"The last thing I need from you is pity." Low, hoarse.

"This isn't pity, Mulder. Let me in." 

~~~~  
End.  
~~~~


End file.
